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I’ve just recently returned from an amazingly relaxing vacation in Cancun, Mexico where in only 8 short days I was able to accomplish several things:

  1. Get an amazing tan.
  2. Drink several gallons of tequila.
  3. Read 6 novels by the pool.
  4. Eat enough guacamole to feed a small 3rd world country.

Upon my return I’ve really let my reading habits go back to shit, however, I’m determined to keep my tan, tequila-drinking stamina, and new-found guacamole habit at their heightened levels.  I’m an achiever.

Guacamole is one of those things that’s super simple to make…it’s really all about finding the best ingredients.  First and foremost, the perfectly ripe avocado.

My proven method is to squeeze every avocado in the store until I’ve either found the ones I guess are perfect (just enough give) or ruin the entire bunch for all the other shoppers.  But, apparently, there are more foolproof methods.  The Kitchn Blog suggests checking under the stem to see if the fruit is ripe and perfect.  While another touch-and-go method I’ve used in the past is to simply buy them unripened (too hard to the touch) and put them in a brown paper bag overnight with the top rolled closed and the next day–Viola Davis!–they’re perfectly ripe and ready to use.  Great guacamole really does come from using the perfectly ripened, creamiest avocados you can find though…so do your best.

The ingredients:


  • 3 ripe avocados
  • 1 lime
  • 1/4 red onion
  • 1 small tomato
  • 1 handful of cilantro
  • 1 garlic clove
  • salt
  • crushed red pepper flakes

Half your three avocados.  Remove the seeds.  Score the avocados into large squares with a paring knife and scoop the sections into a medium sized mixing bowl.

Zest the lime and add the zest to the bowl.  Now coat the avocado with the juice of the lime and add about 1/2 teaspoon each of salt and red pepper flakes.  Stir to coat.

Next, finely mince about 2 tablespoons of cilantro and add that in.  Finely dice the small tomato and squeeze out the majority of the juice before adding it to the bowl.

Now just finely mince 1 clove of garlic and about 1/4 cup of red onion and add that in, as well.

Just mix all that together, mashing some of the larger avocado pieces and leaving some whole for chunkiness, taste it to be sure it’s spicy or salty enough for your tastes, and enjoy (with or without tequila).  Ole’!